December 15, 2008

what to get big chronic kids for christmas

are you having a tough time trying to figure out what to buy for those you love who don't feel well? you want something meaningful, yet fun; something that says "i know you're not at your peak, let me help you up a bit." you want to get something a bit more impactful than a warm sweater and a lot more fun than a treadmill. it's simple! all we need to do is go back to the late 1800's to shop for the difficult to buy for: the sickies, the wobblies, the weak and the unwell.

who says healthy gifts have to be boring gifts? pshaw! there needn't be any silent nights this chronic christmas. believe me, any one of these gifts under the tree is sure to get a rise out of your intended.

singing, "ding, dong, merrily on high" and "joy to the world." bring on the retro gifts and begone "general ill health."

seriously folks, if you celebrate christmas, hanukkah, solstice or kwanzaa, i wish you all the best of the season: a bit of ease, some peace, company and good food. i hope you're toasty warm and as well as can be.

a straightforward message at the end there: shocking, i know.


Lisa Moon said...

YIKES! I'm aghast at the thoughts running through my admittedly twisted little mind...

For one (the non-perverted thought): what exactly does an electric corset do?! I assume it laces itself? Nice and tight?! Eeeee!

I had to laugh at the belt for weak men. {snicker}

OK, fine; is it just me, or are there all sorts of weird connotations to the ride-a-horsie thing? Bizarre!

FridaWrites said...

Happy holidays to you, dear!

Donimo said...

you're not alone, lisa! the electric corset was supposed to "help the chest in its healthy development" and also generally increase vigor. i'm sure the belt put a zip into the walk of weak men. and yes, the horse. what can i say about the horse? and the outfit! i like how they say that the horse "brightens the mind."

thanks, frida! i miss being in touch. i'll be back in the saddle soon.

Anonymous said...

there are so many thoughts running through my mind and the internet is such a shockingly public place! sl

Michelle said...

I asked for a TENS machine for Christmas. How boring is that? Electricity use hasn't been the same since the mid-1900's. Where did the magic and spark go? Where is Dr. Kellogg when we need him?

Great finds, as usual. Have a good holiday season, yourself.

Katrin said...

I always have to wonder just where you find these ads, they're great!

happy holidays to you

The Goldfish said...

How about a Vibrator? Nothing sexual, I assure you. "You have no right to be sick!" the advert apparently reads.

I did receive a vibrating cushion for Christmas a few years ago. I've never established whether it could help with the pain as it just sets me off into a fit of giggles.

Hope you have a lovely Christmas and a much more peaceful new year.

seahorse said...

I once bought someone a staminator - an early 20s chest expander type thing. I don't think it was appreciated as the joke it was meant to be...and please don't google staminator as I have just done. Oh dear.