September 2, 2008

be a smarty, feed 'em hearty

finally, an excuse to post some of my best (or worst, depending on how strong your stomach is) food ads from the late forties and fifities. blame the bloggers at chewing the fat , fridawrites, yet another never updated blog and others for putting recipes on their blogs. recipes have been sweeping the disability blogosphere and i have to give them the chronic holiday twist! i just have to chime in with some incredibly good eats that will ensure you, your husband and little jimmy will all stay fit, full and happy.

click on the ad to enlarge the text; i know you don't want to miss even one ingredient. impress your friends with your cooking prowess! use spam in bold new ways! don't worry about gluten-free or anti-candida or those complicated rotation diets. just open a jar of mayonnaise or liquid cheese and let 'er rip.

have fun adding tempting zest and interest to your meals!


Anonymous said...

Dear Sir,
I certainly was pleased to find these recipes on your website today. My husband and little Jimmy have been so terribly disappointed with my cooking efforts of late. I have never laid eyes on such lovely dishes in all my born days. Thank you, thank you.

Yours sincerely,

A greatful wife and mother

yanub said...

Oh dear. That vegetable "high hat" may be the most disgusting "food" I've ever seen. On the other hand, the tamale pies call for canned tamales, and that's just an abomination.

Donimo said...

dear GWM: i'm always happy to help. and always happy to be called "sir." cheer up, sister, there are many easy, taste-tempting recipes that you can master that will help your jim and jimmy grow up straight and sturdy!

Donimo said...

yanub: it was hard to pick just three technicolor abominations! i have a few really vivid ones that i didn't have an excuse to post because they didn't include recipes. the "hi-hat" is indeed a marvel both in construction and content. i think the corn dishes look like they are full of sliced spinal column. yummy!

B said...

Oh my, I just had clear recall of how Grandma used to make fried spam and eggs for Sunday breakfast, and I think I salivated!

Anonymous said...

And notice how there are still no actual spices in any of these recipes! It seems to be all about presentation.

Wouldn't want to adulterate the spam now. With the exception of ketchup natch.


Donimo said...

oh, come on, there's a pinch of cayenne in the tamale pie! but yeah, it's all about the construction and contrasting colours. and the mayonnaise, of course.

michelle said...

They do look like spinal columns! This post is not for the faint of stomach. Dave's TaterTot stew isn't either, actually. I think I will stick to my simple salads and soups, thanks! If anyone out there tries these recipes, let us know. Maybe the person whose mouth watered will try the Spam and peaches (shiver).

hobbz said...

yummm yummmm fiesta peach cups...what more could you ask for on a warm summer

I love this post!

FridaWrites said...

Oh my gosh, I grew up with foods like this, though in the 70s. My kids keep asking tentatively about spam, which we did eat on occasion, though they're wise enough not to ask too much!

About spices: my mom, when eating dinner at my house, kept emphasizing how she likes "plain cooking"; nevermind that we are serving basic barbecued chicken with grilled vegetables--and a few oddities such as "humus." That's too fancy. To her plain cooking means burnt meatloaf and bacon and lots of canned vegetables of the Del Monte style.

High Hat was used in speech therapy and for teaching reading when I was growing up. Anyone else remember that?

Great finds!

Lisa Moon said...

And yeah, it reminds me of my grandmother's cooking who, after my grandfather's heart attack was told to cook 'plainly' or something, which she took to mean 'no flavour'. In fact, exotic was the salt and pepper you could put on your dinner and vegetables meant either corn, peas or carrots or (gasp) a *combo* thereof! Oooh, fun!

Lisa Moon said...

Hey! Half of my comment didn't come through... weird.

I was trying to say that it looks like wet dog food. Then again, isn't Spam basically dog food? Scary yet somehow, I feel compelled to read through the ads which seemed to promise this perfect, simple life... sigh.

Donimo said...

i grew up with a lot of canned vegetables and dishes made with cans of soup. i didn't know that asparagus was actually very good and quite unlike the thin, pale green squishy things we had from a can. were foods this garish in the 70's? of course they were, those were the velveeta years!

food ads from this era do seem to promise a lot more than just a meal. mothers make morale in their kitchens. they ensure the continuation of their marriages and their husband's well-being. that hi-hat completes her. it IS all so simple.

seahorse said...

Oh God. Vegetable high hats? My son plays drums and I had a quite awful image of this dish somehow being incorporated into his drumkit and then being splatted all over the room. Nice :-)

Spooky, as I've visited here after just writing guessed it. Cooking. Great minds and all that.

Donimo said...

Wow, a mom who allows her child to play drums, that's a cool mom. I know, because my dad bought me a great big Pearl drum set when I was a young teen and my mom was the one who had to hear me all the time.

I think September starts to make people think about being inside more and doing the nesting and cooking thing. Maybe I should post a "real" recipe on my other blog. I just don't think I can stomach any of these.

FridaWrites said...

What was it with canned vegetables in the 70s and 80s? I thought it was just my family. For some reason I've taken a liking to canned asparagus recently but maybe that's because I've eaten a lot of the real thing first.

Did your families have deep fryers and salad spinners too? My mom even fried bologna and added bacon grease as seasoning to everything. Little Debbies and Hostess cupcakes or twinkies in lead-laced lunchboxes with our thermoses of 10% juice. Chips and sandwiches with cheese. Mmm, well rounded meal. Or you could get the school lunch, maybe I should skip that description. I was a skinny kid, but no telling how clogged my arteries got before I even left home.

I cringe when I see chicken pot pies or Dinty Moore beef stew. Can't deal.

FridaWrites said...

My mother is of the anti-seasoning sort as well. A few parsley flakes or garlic salt were exotic.

Canned pears and peaches. Slices of American cheese on pears. American cheese on saltines. Canned Chef Boyardee ravioli, spaghetti-os, or beenie weenies for lunch. Oh the anti-nostalgia. Apalling, wasn't it?

Now I can scare my mother off with sun-dried tomatoes, artichokes, and stuffed mushrooms. She never once used garlic and onion was a rarity. My parents think we're aliens. My grandparents, on the other hand, have taken up some of our food choices. My jaw hit my plate when my grandfather ordered tofu in his lunch once.

cusp said...

Well I'd love to say I'm tempted but I'm not. I detest sweetcorn in all its forms and Spam always reminds me of school dinners: when, as a prefect, I had been on playground duty all lunchtime and had 10 minutes left to grab lunch before lessons resumed, the kitchen had oft-times run out of everything. Nevertheless they could always be relied upon to rustle up their old faithful: spam fritter -- a pink reconstituted meat product dipped in floury batter and deep fryed and accompanied by chips and cold baked beans --- Yummee ! A sort pink fatty slab deep fried in more fat. So nutritious for the growing child and guaranteed to make the acne blossom. What joy !

We used to call them 'flayed gorgon's tongues'. Can't repeat our names for some of the other delights of the school meals service in 1970s UK ;0)

sarah said...

does the uk win the award for worst food in the world? that's what it seems like from the comments on this post. good lord. although i do remember my classmates eating things like jam sandwiches on white bread where the bread was so thin it had turned pink from the jam, and they drank blue bubble-gum flavoured milk. i myself had a health food freak for a mother so i was busily trying to hide my gigantic whole wheat alfalfa sprout sandwiches.

btw, this is my story about growing up deprived of junk food. i really wished i had stuff like baloney at the time!

Donimo said...

i love talking about food and what we ate as kids! and what people still eat now. and what gets called "food."

frida: thanks for the very descriptive lunch menus! wow, fried bologna. my mom didn't have a deep fryer, so i was spared some of the major artery blockers, though she was quite the baker and i ate lots of cookies and pies and white buns. as an adult, i am slim and not diabetic, so maybe the fact that i had hot red river cereal every morning helped offset some of the effects of the sweets. the school lunches i made myself as a teen were not exactly nutritious: cheese whiz on white bread and tetra packs of blue, bubblegum flavoured milk. yikes!

you watch that weirdo sun-dried stuff, now!

cusp: spam fritters??!! my goodness. matched with the beans and chips, you've got yourself some great brain food and energy for a young student. what a lovely colour palette for your meal. i saw jamie oliver's show about revamping the meals in english schools and it looks like they hadn't really changed much since the 70's. they were probably using the same oil in the deep fryers!

b said...

Fried bologna is still a favourite in parts of Canada. During a recent trip to Newfoundland, I found that many restaurants there offer fried bologna as an option with your breakfast. Newfoundlanders LOVE their bologna.

Growing up in Vancouver in the 70's, I lived in a house where there was an ever present coffee cup of saved bacon fat in the fridge, to be used as cooking fat. I shudder at the memory of fish sticks baked in bacon fat.

FridaWrites said...

Sarah, I do apologize, but the UK does win the worst food award. :) I will, however, award prizes for tea and scones. I lost weight in the UK very quickly. There's something to be said for that. I did eat jelly sandwiches like that!

Here are some other 70s/80s nostalgia foods:
-Jiffy Pop. Does anything beat that repetitive maraca sound on a Friday night?
-those cakes in paper pans in the premicrowave era. How did those things not go up in flames?
-Rice-a-Roni (the San Francisco treat)
-baked Frito pie
-fried apple sticks (these were awesome!)
-fried vegetable sticks
-Skippy peanut butter, but only if your mother loved you enough. Otherwise she bought Peter Pan.
-Kool Aid, as if it had any nutrients
-Strawberry Shortcake cereal
-fruit "ambrosia". What god thought of this, I don't know.
-jello everything. Jello, Jello, Jello.
-the Doritos they don't make anymore. The plain ones, the best for nachos.

cusp said...

Yep dear. I'm sure they haven't refreshed the oil in the friers since World War 2: lashings of lard !! Good healthy fare for the growing body.

They used to serve tinned peach slices from a white washing up bowl too -- we used to joke that after our lunch the dinner ladies used the same bowl in which to soak their tired feet.....but was it really a joke ! ? When this delectation was on the menu the cry would go up 'Dead Goldfish for pud !' Happy Days ;0)

Anonymous said...

ooh - I'm glad I came back to this thread, I love talking about gross "food" from the 70s!

Our house was a weird and wacky hybrid of good fresh, frozen and home-canned vegetables from the giant garden my mom had and then bizarre non-food cooked up in the KRAFT labs of the 70s.

I used to loved fired bologna, not deep fried, but pan-fried in it's own grease and topped with mustard. That was dinner with potatoes when money was tight - Always before payday.

We weren't alllowed a lot of junk food, but what was considered okay food was stranger.

As someone else mentioned...jello was everywhere! Remember the Green jello-mayonaise "salad" with pineapple slices? I loved that shit!


qw88nb88 said...

OMG, the High Hat! Tt's worse than a wreck on the highway, where the firefighters are spraying foam and putting people on stretchers...