March 9, 2008

monday quiz: corner store edition

sometimes, potential cures come at you from left field. you might have thought that you were just going to nip into the store to get a few groceries, but little did you know that the cashier would dispense a pearl of healing wisdom along with your change. so, that's one bunch of kale, a litre of milk, a bag of brown rice, a box of green tea and a cure for arthritis. will that be everything for you today?

according to cashier number 16, what will cure arthritis?
releasing childhood issues
getting rolfed every week
gold injections
Free polls from

paper or plastic? botox or gold? the answer is in the comments section.


sarah said...

it's funny-- i wonder, if you compared your average cashier's advice to your average specialist's advice, which would prove to be more useful?

Donimo said...

i'm not sure, with usefulness as the test, who would be the most helpful. but looking at grocery clerks and specialists,there are some striking similarities. this cashier, like many specialists, preceded to recommend something that went contrary to what i told him, namely: i do not have arthritis! this didn't phase him. like a specialist, the cashier made grand conclusions based on a small slice of my life. next customer, please!

Michelle said...

I really like these quizzes. Like the rest of your blog, they're funny and thought provoking. I once went into a store for a bottle of acidophilus and the cashier went on and on about bowel health! Too much information!

Donimo said...

oh, michelle, i've been there! i bet a lot of people who have chronic illnesses find themselves on the receiving end of many intestinal confessions. tmi, indeed!!!

The Goldfish said...

The last cashier who gave me health advice actually put her hands on my head and prayed for me out loud, in the middle of the shop. She did ask my consent in so far as she asked if she could pray for me, but I was thinking later, in her own private time. And quietly.

My sister once received a recipe for cannabis cake from a cashier on my behalf. That wasn't too bad advice; at least it was for symptomatic relief as opposed to a magic cure. Illegal symptomatic relief, but still.

Donimo said...

wow, goldfish, that's quite something. obviously, cashiers have many hidden talents, but i didn't know faith healing was one of them. that one really tried to hand you your change!

i wonder if you politely sat while she touched you and prayed. i think i would have recoiled , actually.

as for symptomatic relief: here in beautiful british columbia one can get a doctor's referral to a "compassion club" and get nice, organic pot. they even sell brownies and cookies!

michelle said...

I meant to say that she went on and on about HER bowel heath and not anything more manageable like general intestinal stuff. I don't really want to know that about anyone!

Goldfish - that is quite the story. I can't believe that she actually touched you and prayed out loud! Did you have the urge to deck her? Maybe that's just me.

The Goldfish said...

I'm afraid I did sit politely, if red-faced, but I did leave pretty quickly after that. Trouble with these things, and the really bizarre or patronising comments we get from time to time is that you're just too stunned to react.

I've never actually tried cannabis as my brain is somewhat fragile, but the "compassion club" sounds great. Especially as involves medical referral, so presumably they know what they're doing with doses and monitoring risk?

Donimo said...

Goldfish: I always think of my best responses when I am well away from the person. I get stunned as well. That's what started this whole blog. No DOUBT you left the store after that. I bet other patrons were wondering what was up!

As for the Compassion Club, I think once the doctor refers you over that's about as involved as they can be since it's not a recognized pharmaceutical. Docs ask for updates, but that's about it. But the folks at the club are very knowledgeable and helpful.It's sort of like going to a herbologist but with a bit more of a kick!

Donimo said...

the answer: gold injections.

once a week, you get a gold solution injected into your buttocks. with the value of gold in today's market, i guess that would put quite a price on your ass. sorry. this treatment is used in some rheumatology clinics for rheumatoid arthritis relief and is supposed to work as well or better than most available drugs. but it's not a cure.

the thing with the cashier's treatment suggestion is that i told him i did not have arthritis, but he continued to spout anyway. my lesson: throw some Haagen Dazs in with all the healthy foods and the cashier will be less likely to comment on why you are making such great food choices.

seahorse said...

Your Monday quizzes are just the best. Thank you for getting me out and about again. Stress causes this tunnel vision in me and I sort of forget to visit sites I like. Which is a total no brainer, as being entertained reduces stress :-)

donimo said...

i'm so glad you dropped by, seahorse! i can understand the urge to not venture far afield when you're stressed. creating this blog has been a good stress antidote for me. let me entertain you!