December 31, 2007

proof in advertising


i knew it! didn't i say that ads were suggesting that we've done something wrong if we get sick? sometimes, the old adverts just said it so clearly. sometimes, if we look to the past, we can see how we got where we are today.

isn't it kind of creepy how happy and smug the healthy person looks? now, who is the sick one, really?

December 6, 2007

you do the math


okay, class. put aside the science of chronic illness for today; right now, we are going to focus on the math. i just picked up my prescription for natural thyroid hormone and, along with it, a helpful brochure on how to titrate (that's chemistry and we'll handle that another day) my dose and maximize the drug's effect. i will add to this my daily numbers. ready?

i have to take my temperature 3 hours after awakening, 3 times per day, 3 hours apart for 5 days and average each day. my temperature should be a bit above 37 degrees celsius but will more likely be close to 35 degrees. i should start with 1-7.5 mcg capsules, 2 times per day and build up in divided doses of 15 mcg's to anywhere from 125 to 225 mcg's. the drug has to be taken 1 hour before eating or 2 hours after and 12 hours apart. i should be careful not to let my blood sugar drop and should many small meals per day. for each meal, i should eat 3 parts of protein to 1 part unrefined carbohydrates. i should eat between 60 and 70 grams of protein per day. i should avoid drinking water 1/2 hour before, during or after food. i should drink at least 6 glasses of water per day. add to the thyroid pills, 1 to 4 -12.5 mg capsules of io-plex daily with food, for 3 to 6 weeks. add 1-250 mcg capsule of chromium per day. take 1 capsule twice daily of guggulipid. take 1 to 4 capsules of ashwaganda. take 5oo mg of tyrosine 3 times per day with meals. take 1 multi-vitamin per day. and 1 capsule of 1000 or 2000 mcg b-12 per day.

need a breather? c'mon, you can do it! keep going...

for nausea, i take 6 nux vomica granules 15 minutes before or 1/2 hour after food. i take 3 vitamin d pills 3 times per day with food. 2 types of calcium 4 times per day with food. 1 cup of chinese tea 2 times a day, 1 hour after food. 2 neck stretches 1 time per hour. foot exercises 10 reps, 3 times per day. 5 different hand exercises, 10 reps, 3 times per day. 45 minutes of stretching, 1 time per day. 20 minutes of walking when possible. meditate for 15 minutes, 2 times per day. and it's all finished off with 10 mg of melatonin, 45 minutes before bedtime and 9 hours of rest.

more or less.

now. here is your homework:

if one sick person leaves their bed at 9:15 am and has to do 10 repetitions, 3 times per day of 12 different stretches and needs 6 small meals; and the another sick person leaves their bed at 7:30 am and has 2 appointments with specialists --each of whom tends to be between 30 and 70 minutes late-- who are 11 km's apart... when will they ever meet for coffee?

do i have any high-level mathematicians reading this? can we get a formula for dosing, exercising and time management, please? for now, i will drink my new vanilla tea and switch to physics: a body at rest tends to stay at rest.