October 26, 2007

candy's dandy

i'm back and just in time for halloween! i know you'll make sure to wear reflective clothing, dress warmly and avoid lead-tainted make-up; but are you well-armed with all the sweet advice you need for this candy festival? don't forget:

  • sugar will kill you. it will destroy your immune system.
  • sugar is fine in moderation. don't stress about it so much.
  • chocolate is great for you. it has antioxidants. it's good for your heart. and your brain, i think.
  • sugar can lead to alcoholism.
  • heroin and sugar are arrived at by very similar processes of refinement. think about it.
  • just eat natural sugar. you'll be fine.
  • everyone has cravings for sweets and that just proves that we need them. sugar is just an energy food.
  • honey is good for your tissues and your immune system.
  • sugar is enemy number one of the bowel movement.

trick? treat? whatever. i'm going to have some gummy worms, pumpkin truffles and some scary, chocolate covered bugs. i'm going to live it up! and i'm going to put off reading 146 reasons why sugar is ruining your health till well after all the halloween candy is gone.