26 October 2007

candy's dandy

i'm back and just in time for halloween! i know you'll make sure to wear reflective clothing, dress warmly and avoid lead-tainted make-up; but are you well-armed with all the sweet advice you need for this candy festival? don't forget:

  • sugar will kill you. it will destroy your immune system.
  • sugar is fine in moderation. don't stress about it so much.
  • chocolate is great for you. it has antioxidants. it's good for your heart. and your brain, i think.
  • sugar can lead to alcoholism.
  • heroin and sugar are arrived at by very similar processes of refinement. think about it.
  • just eat natural sugar. you'll be fine.
  • everyone has cravings for sweets and that just proves that we need them. sugar is just an energy food.
  • honey is good for your tissues and your immune system.
  • sugar is enemy number one of the bowel movement.

trick? treat? whatever. i'm going to have some gummy worms, pumpkin truffles and some scary, chocolate covered bugs. i'm going to live it up! and i'm going to put off reading 146 reasons why sugar is ruining your health till well after all the halloween candy is gone.


teri s. said...

Oh my!! I just opened that "too overqualified to write such a list" PHD's List of a Gazillion ways in which sugar can ruin your health and decided that little document was going to RUIN MY DAY!!! So I closed it, marched into my bosses office and lifted several sugary halloween treats from his trick or treat bowl!!! I am so much better now.

Ode to sugar
by t.s.

Oh joyous white granular substance
(sometimes powdery too)
How I love thee when I am feelilng blue.
Some say this makes me weak and pathetic
(some even say I'll become diabetic)
But for this sweet and joyous ride,
I'll pay the price to feel that high -
the buzz buzz buzz of feeling grand
After swallowing the sweetest substance in the land.

Life is short
And then we die
So why can't we all
Enjoy the ride

Sweet sweet sugar - bring it on.....


Donimo said...

Ah, Teri, your "crave for candy" is strong and sure. Keats pondered a Grecian urn, but your thoughts have lingered on something so much sweeter and dearer. Or, to rif on Marvell:

Now let us sport us while we may;
And now, like am'rous birds of prey,
Rather at once our Sweets devour,
And languish in pure Sugar's pow'r.

Anonymous said...

white devil sublime

powerless become i have

from your hold free me

by Bubba

Donimo said...

Yoda Haiku rocks! Let's start a band called "White Devil Sublime."

Anonymous said...

ok - i have to tell you this. I learned in my psych class (before experiment ethics), they allowed these toddlers to choose food from a variety of choices at every meal. They found that they naturally chose food that kept a well-balanced nutrition value. This includes a child choosing cod liver oil. This was until they added sugar into the mix. Then all bets were off, the child(ren) would constantly go for the sugar products after that. That said, enjoy your candy, god knows I DID. *burp* :) JKL

BBC Ouch said...

Dear Donimo,

I work on the BBC's disability website, Ouch - http://www.bbc.co.uk/ouch/ - and love what you're doing on this blog. Would really like to speak to you more about it, however I can't find an email address on your site anywhere. If at all possible, could you drop us a line at ouch@bbc.co.uk - thanks!

Katherine said...

I love it! Thanks for the really smart humor. I have IBS and Fibro and can relate to the pressure to get well SOON. Honestly, I haven't been able to laugh about it till now. I have felt angry and guilty, but you've given me the ability to back up a bit and see how ridiculous people can be. Thank you!